Day 190 – The Power of ‘No’.

Money Spent: $0

One of my monthly resolutions is saying ‘Yes!’ to all the things for a day. This week, I’m taking it to the next level and I’ve extended ‘Yes!-day’ to an entire 7 days.

I always get excited about it: I imagine saying ‘Yes!’ to the most awesome things. Yes, I’ll go on a date with a handsome stranger! Yes, I’d love to travel to New Guinea for free! Yes, I absolutely dig that job with a six-figure pay!

But those things don’t happen. Or they didn’t happen yet. Stay positive, Yo!

I thought that Yes! Day meant I’d had to be affirmative all of the time – all day, or all week long. Of course, I can set some restrictions: saying Yes! to things illegal, dangerous or just plain stupid would be quite the irresponsible thing to do. As is saying Yes! to whatever is costing me more money than I have in my pocket (mostly none to little), or things that cost me money, final.

Other than that, I thought there was no room for a the uber-negative word “No” is.

Except… is it really?


I love Paulo Coelho!  via

I love Paulo Coelho!

We associate naysayers with the grumpy, the mad, the angry. But sometimes ‘No!’ I the most loving response we can give. To avoid confusion, however, let’s lay out a short manual of when to use what…


–        When you get offered a chance to step outside of your comfort zone. An unexpected offer to go hiking or meet up with a long lost pal, might be just that.

–        When your whole entire being wants you to say yes. People tend to say you need to listen to your heart, but you actually can ‘feel’ what you want in your third chakra or the Solar plexus, located about 3 inches above your navel.

–        When you can connect with other people. Especially when we are down and out, we lean towards being alone. And even though alone time is necessary from time to time, being around people with great moods and spirits can be uplifting.

–        When you have an opportunity to grow: take a class, attend a seminar. Being open to change, is valuable for when life hits us with truly life changing events.


–        When you’d be putting yourself and others in danger. Nothing is worth the probability of losing a limb… or worse.

–        When you’d harm yourself or others by the action. Stay away from protest, from anger, from viciousness.

–        When the opportunity doesn’t resonate with you. Even if a million people would take the offer, it might not be for you – and that’s OK. Again, you’ll know. Examine how it makes you feel. And choose for ‘you’.


I bet you frown. Choosing you sounds like the most selfish thing to do. And it is – but it’s also vital that you do.

You may not pay attention anymore to the inflight safety instructions on a plane (I know I don’t) but you know who’s oxygen mask to put on first in case of an emergency: yours.

That’s right. I’ve said it: the most important person on this planet is you.

So in a week with a lot of Yesses – I might throw in a couple of ‘No’s’ – just because I’m a rebel… and the right amount of selfish.

PS: Are you all taking massive good care of yourselves? Do you realize that you are the most important person in your life, or do you often forget?

PPS: my favorite read today was Michelle from Fit is the New Poor’s post about the Evolving Shopping List!

24 thoughts on “Day 190 – The Power of ‘No’.

  1. Very eloquent! I actually said maybe today and am feeling a bit guilty about it, in that, I feel obligated to say yes, but I wanted to say flat out no. Reading your points, I maybe should say yes. It’s outside my comfort zone. Unfortunately, I can’t fit it in your “no” criteria, though I really tried. And now I have an idea that I’m going to try, that will make my ‘yes’ not such a hardship. Thanks, Debby! A bunch!!!

  2. Great post! You are absolutely correct – sometimes a No is the nicest thing you can do or say. Boundaries, after all!
    You always have such a positive infectious attitude! :)

  3. This is a great post. I actually say “yes” too often. I need to practice saying “no” so I can actually have time to myself once in a while. I just get way to over-committed by saying “yes”. I’m a sucker :)

  4. I agree that it’s necessary to be selfish at times. We need to pay attention to our wants and needs! Putting other people first is sometimes a recipe for disaster. I have been getting a little better about saying “yes” on smaller scales, mostly either to going out or spending a little money. Not excessively at all, but just to enjoy things once in a while.

    • I absolutely started to say ‘no’ a lot more often when there’s money involved – and even that was tough in the beginning. Now I say “yes” to those dinner parties and nights out more consciously, and I pick those things I absolutely want to be at.

  5. I love that quote! I’m all for helping others and sharing our blessings. But if we do too much and forget our own needs in the process, we’ll end up burnt out and in resentment. A balance of everything is needed. Also, the occasional personal indulgence is sort of a motivation for to keep paying down debt/ living frugally/ helping others/ etc.

  6. Pingback: Roundup #27: My eBay Nightmare Update -

  7. Like saying no to the voice inside your head that wants to buy that dress? :p This is great. it can be so hard to remember that saying “no” doesn’t mean we hate the person asking something of us, it’s just putting limits on what we are willing or, frankly, able to do with the time we’re given.

  8. I agree with “Choose You.” I’ve been telling my husband that our health should be second on our list (right below our faith) of priorities. If we’re not healthy and fit then we are of no use to each other, our kids and our business.

    • I was touched by the fact you put your faith above all else.
      We probably don’t share the same religion, but I recently turned to my spirituality as well, looking to strengthen my faith… thank you for the reminder.

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