Day 283 – Good Vibrations.

Money Spent: $0

For months and most of winter, I had shunned away from my friends, from events and from life outside the walls of my apartment. Dealing with my finances, with myself and all of the reflecting, I decided to be my own best friend, and just take good care of myself – or just be by myself, I don’t know what’s more true.

But now, it’s summer, and nice out. And even though my self-confidence is a little off because of the size my ass decided to grow (at least TWO sizes bigger than ALL the pants in my closet, I might add), I feel more OK than I have say four to five months ago.

And so, today, after work, me and my ass click-clacked our heels to Williamsburg, where a friend of mine designed the interiors of new-built condo. And they were having a party, throwing the overprized apartments on the market, and that came with champagne and so much lobster,  doubt there’s any left in Brooklyn tonight.

The first week at my new job is almost over. I can’t believe how fast that went… how at ease I am. True, I have no bosses around, no colleagues to consider and there’s still much to do to set up the office… but I was so proud to tell my boss this morning that I managed to land 3 presentations at really high end and established Interior Design Offices… that’s a confidence booster right there.

My friends all noticed how much more relaxed I looked. They also notice that “euhm…. Did you gain a little weight in the ass area?” – which is also true.

I know my body will eventually adjust to the lack of nicotine that used to speed up my metabolism. My work outs and healthy eating habits will soon kick in too. Life will babble its course and I will ride on its waves.

It’s Thursday, I met some great new people and bonded with some old friends. I laughed while sitting outside and watching the Manhattan skyline get ready for dusk…

 

Midtown as seen from a Williamsburg rooftop

Midtown as seen from a Williamsburg rooftop

And I said to myself: isn’t she lovely?

And she sure as hell is.

Day 282 – Allo, Allo Again.

Money Spent: $7 – had to get my brows threated, no longer manageable on my own.   

Well… my email following up my phone conversation with my boss – in which I very kindly ask him to either meet me in my new office (I believe I used the words “you are most welcome to”) or to meet for an informal coffee to discuss the matter, has been left unanswered.

In a threat of 5 emails over a course of a month, none have been answered. Disrespectful, definitely. But I would assume that a man knowing he was right, wouldn’t hide behind the arrogance of silence.

Anyway. To be continued, I guess.

On a positive note, my new job has been keeping me busy. I’ve been juggling my time between the business development that has to help us grow, and setting up the office to a workable place… One very important thing I need to do, is getting an office phone.

via und3clared.livejournal.com

via und3clared.livejournal.com

You’d think in this day and age, you’d do the shopping in the morning, and by the time the sun gets up the next morning, you’d have yourself a phone. But no. No-no.

Verizon’s customer’s service is horrible. If you manage to find a way through the jungle their menu is: kudos. But on Monday, I gave up after about 4 attempts. Instead, I send an online information request… I’m still waiting for an answer to my questions.

So today, I called them again… I was promised to get my answers answered by 1pm. I repeated my email address twice, just in case. I even spelled it in a way that there was no mistaking which letter I meant to say: D as in David – e as in Edward – B as in Boy…

But I’m still waiting for an answer.

Eventually, I contacted Time Warner – yes, them… the FBI of customer services… there was no way I’d call them. I posted an info request on their website instead.

Half an hour later, I got a call. My questions were answered during the phonecall, but another 30 minutes later, I received the offer in my mailbox.

I’m not saying I’ll go for Time Warner, but at least they offer excellent care for potential new clients.

 

PS: Whatever happened to haven 3 options and then get in touch with a live person?

PPS: Any suggestions as to what company I should contact to get a phone up and running asap?

Day 280 – Allo, Allo.

Money Spent: $0 yeah!  

When I grew up, the BBC1 series Allo, Allo was immensely popular. The Brits playing a show with French ànd German accents – it as hilarious. Honestly, if you never saw the show, you should try to get your hands on it somehow, because I just needed an intro and somewhat of an explanation for the title of this post.

via meancookie.tumblr.com

via meancookie.tumblr.com

I also called my boss. On the phone. And that conversation was as absurd as a BBC sitcom. But here’s an anthology:

Him: We haven’t cancelled your visa yet, but I’m beginning to feel like we should…

Me: euhm… where do you think I’m calling from? I have a new Visa… like in ‘the embassy cancelled yours already’.

Him: *silence*

Him: we don’t agree with the hours you invoiced for drawing services! That was part of your job!

Me: drawing? Since when? That’s not in my job description.

Him: well, your job description is what WE say it is!

Me: yeah… exactly. I have a signed copy of that description… there’s no drawing services mentioned on there.

Him: *silence*

Me: and also, even if it were, you would have to explain why I had to make all those drawings on my personal computer with my personal drawing program… I’d assume if it were a task in my job description, the company would provide the necessary tools to perform the task within office hours.

Him: *long silence* we’re going to have to see a copy of that document.

Me: of course.

Eventually, he ‘kinda’ agreed to meet later this week for coffee, but to the email that I sent following up the conversation, I have not yet seen a reply.

My word of advice if you ever come across a boss like mine: make sure to keep EVERYTHING of importance – even if it doesn’t seem important at the time.

Keep them positive vibes coming!

PS: totally off topic but an important question: what am I going to wear to the FOUR DATES I HAVE COMING UP!? 

Day 280 – Slow Down.

Money Spent: $20.06 on eggs, apples, carrots and beets – everything minus the eggs for my morning juice. I was shocked, though. 20 dollars for 5 apples, 5 beets and 5 carrots? And they’re not even golden!   

I want things fast. If I set my mind to something, I want it yesterday.

If I start running, it frustrates me that I can’t run 5K immediately, and I tend to force myself – as if all of a sudden running daily will transform me in one of those people who effortlessly gallop over the pavements. Like gazelles. You know the kind.

It doesn’t work that way, though. Even though I felt like I could easily run another 3,5 miles, my legs started protesting by the time I was at the end of my street.

It’s the same thing with dating. Once I decide that I’m ready to throw my heart in the pond again, I expect the right person to pick it up immediately. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I rushed into a date with this one guy who states in his profile that he’s the happiest person walking the earth. That’s how easy you can trick me into drinks after work. I do, and then I read… because two sentences later he explicitly defines what it means to be “very open sexually”. So there’s a martini wasted.

I tend to rush things. Frustratingly pushing life like a cartoon figure trying to move a brick wall.

And don’t get me wrong, although I can act impulsively, I always have a schedule in my head, blocking me from spontaneously jumping on a plane to an exotic destination. Well, a schedule and no money in my pockets, that is.

I have to cook, I have to run, I have a yoga class, I want to read, I want to be by myself, I have to take a shower, wash my hair.

I want too much, too fast, preferably all at once.

But every now and then, I stop. I literally stand still to look around, to smell the roses – so to say, that is, you don’t really want to smell all that much in NYC in summer.

All kidding aside, though: I like those moments. Those moments where I realize there’s no need to rush. No need to argue. And everything is just as perfect as it is.

Day 279 – (my) Brave Heart.

Money Spent: $24 on brunch with friends I hadn’t seen for weeks.  

Remember that time where I launched a gazillion blogs, before realizing there’s only 24 hours in a day? And one of them was kinda a hoot, because it was about dating in NYC – and ain’t that a hoot indeed?

To be honest, I haven’t been on a date since…. I can’t remember when exactly, but it’s been months. A lot of them. My financial adventure as already much to handle, and it sure didn’t help making me feel more attractive. I’m glad I put that department on hold: I think it’s useless to try seeking a relationship while in distress. So instead, I decided to be my own best friend and companion, letting every potential partner of the hook.

But now, it’s summer… and times passes… and I have a new phone with apps and everything… so yeah, I signed up on Tinder. Not that I’m all of a sudden feeling like Angelina Jolie, but my ass took on Kardashian proportions and that worked wonders for her.

All kidding aside, I’m a little skeptical. Tinder is known to be a hookup app, and 48 hours in, I can already confirm that that is indeed true. I haven’t been offered drinks nor dinner… except if you count the one guy who asked how I felt about someone (him, I assume) licking Nutella off my body. He was willing to settle for Belgian chocolate.

Oh, the thrill dating is, n’est-ce-pas?

On a more successful note: I ran 5K this morning. Woohoo for my new (indeed VERY bright) Nikes!

To carry on on this sudden hint of bravery, I have some goals for the coming week:

  1. No Spending Week! I’ve been (necessarily) splurging a little recently, and it’s time to go back to (very) frugal. I have food in my fridge and pantry, so unless it’s something I’ve been overlooking this past weekend, or fresh food, I’m going for a zero spending week!
  2. Call my Former Boss Week! Remember that one time where I was going to talk with him? Yeah, I’m not a fan. But I do have justice on my side and signed document that proves I made a huge amount of money to little over the past 2 years… so this needs to be done.

 

via decineyotrosfantasmas.blogspot.com

via decineyotrosfantasmas.blogspot.com

I want my money.

  1. Eat Super Dooper Healthy Week! I was off sugar for the longest time, and then I went to Belgium… bye bye diet. I ate French fries so many times I’m actually saturated for the rest of the year. I did decide to be a little more flexible, though: I’m allowed an alcoholic beverage from time to time. And since I read that one cup of coffee in the morning is actually good to fasten your metabolism, I’m doing that, too. Homebrewed, of course.
  2. Keep up the Running Pace Week! Running has been going well, and I’m so, so excited to have run 5K today!! I’m not sure yet whether I’ll be running in the morning or at night, after work… but I’ll figure that out this week. I hope to eventually combine running with a yoga practice.
  3. Start Apartment Hunting Week! I guess it’s time to get serious about that… 42 days left until moving… Washington Heights (or higher up), here I come…
  4. Go Back to Kundalini Week! Because bravery works best when supported by a higher power.

Just in case my bravery falters, though… send me all your positive thoughts for #2. I can use all the positive vibes and energy I can gather for that one.

PS: I was slacking a little these past couple of weeks, and it hasn’t been easy to write, but I’m back. 

 

Day 279 – They Do Run-Run.

Money Spent: $100 on new running shoes, and the topic of this post.

I’ve done a couple attempts in the past to start a running routine, without much success. Either my ankles started swelling or I nearly killed myself my smoker’s lungs.

But while in Belgium, I started running with my sister in law, and I’m maintaining the new habit. Although I must say that some adjustment to the heat was necessary, it’s been going rather well (knock on wood).

So now that it’s getting more serious, I was pondering about running shoes. The ones I have are over 5 years old, and every frequent runner will admit that it’s not ideal to run with worn shoes. So, after months of abstinence, I decided to hit the stores and treat myself to a new pair of Nike’s.

And then I saw the prices. Holy Crap! 129 dollars for a pair of sneakers ON SALE!? Whut? I had kinda planned to not spend over 50 bucks, people!

Leaving the store, I felt disappointed and angry. Disappointed, because I had been looking forward to making a purchase, buy something shiny and new. Angry, because – for the love of freakin’ god – what’s a girl to do to get something shiny and new!?

Walking home, I stepped in to another store, and found a pair of very bright pink Nike’s that were only 100 dollars… and then I doubted for another half hour because yet another emotion shared the party: guilt. To tell you the truth, I didn’t like any of them, but guilt has to be my least favorite. It sucks to feel like I need to justify every single penny I spend.

My former boss still hasn’t paid me what he owes me, and the financial impact of my new job has no real impact on my finances yet. But I’m hopeful things will work out and improve soon.

Meanwhile, I can at least go for a run and keep my mind clear.

Phew!

Day 278 – Original Thoughts.

Money Spent: $74 at Trader Joes.  

While I was at my parents, I sneak peaked through the boxes they have stored in their basement: tableware and kitchen supplies, vases, a coffeemaker and a toaster. Stuff unnecessary to hold on to, so I urged my brothers to take what they want.

What’s harder to let go, is the boxes (and boxes) of books I have there. Too heavy to ship, too many to put in a suitcase. But one little book did manage to arrive in New York.

It’s a Dutch book about how to develop an appetite for life through writing. I bought it a couple of years ago in a pro-blog era that lead to blogging. It’s always interesting to increase the appetite a little, so I started re-reading it, and of course I read something interesting.

The author suggest to pay attention to our Original Thoughts: it’s those thoughts we tend to edit or censor seconds after they popped up. Just today, I noted myself erasing a Facebook Status I started typing minutes after I read an article about the MH17 crash in Ukraine.

“instead of selfishly fight for a country, people better invest in saving the world” – I wanted to write. Then I didn’t, for various reasons: I don’t like to be political on Facebook. I have both Russian and Ukranian friends… I don’t want for anyone to feel uncomfortable. Eventually, I decided not to write anything at all.

And isn’t that how it usually goes?

In real life – out loud – having a censorship to our Monkey Minds is actually a good thing. I mean, you cannot go round shouting Original Thoughts. Your “mmmmmm-M! I’d pay money to hang out in those arms, baby” while in line at Starbucks, might cause some distress at 7am. And I don’t know about you, but yelling “SHUT UP!” at my mom when she – again and for the trillionth time – asks a money related question.

But in writing… oooh, in writing… we shouldn’t be that careful. If not publicly, then definitely privately. Because – let’s be honest – even when we’re writing anonymously, we don’t completely open up. We hide those thoughts that are unconventional or edgy. We want to be liked for what we write, right?

But every now and then, it’s even better to tell it as it is. Even if only for 2 minutes a day: write it out, shake it off, let it go.

And who knows… maybe one of those original thoughts will stick and transform into a masterpiece. And if writing doesn’t help to address your Monkey Mind, this graph might:

via zen-mama.com

via zen-mama.com

PS: are you aware you censor/edit your thoughts into more acceptable ones?